One of the best things about being a plumber is our attractiveness to women. As far as women are concerned, plumbers exude an animal magnetism. Maybe it’s the masculine trucks we drive, maybe it’s the pheromones released from our sweaty shirts, or perhaps the scent from a recently completed drain cleaning.
No one knows for sure, but the attraction is unmistakable. Women are calling plumbers every day using all sorts of flimsy excuses to bring them over to their houses. “I don’t have any hot water!” “There is water dripping from my living room ceiling!” “I smell gas!”
The desire to live the plumber lifestyle is spreading like wildfire across the nation.
Men are trading in their BMW’s, Mercedes, and Porsches for fully equipped plumbing vans. Talk about a chick magnet!
There is the soon to be released new reality television show called, “Pimp My Pipes”. After that begins airing, it is going to be even more difficult each day. Customers will expect an equal amount of heart stopping drama. Will he be able to save the toilet in time! How high will the hot water heater launch this week? I hear the producers are still working on casting the male lead. Joe the Plumber is in the running.
Martha Stewart is designing a new line of furniture focused around the plumber lifestyle. I guess she figures her brand is a little tired and she wants to cash in on the latest hot trend. I see they have a dining room table set with a table that looks like a kitchen sink with ceramic tile sideboards and chairs like a toilet with a high back. The arm rests are in the shape of pipe wrenches. All very classic.
The living room furniture comes in a variety of designs but my favorite is the hot tub television lounge chair. They call it the tub-a-lounger and it comes in different sizes and colors. There are a dozen cup holders around the perimeter that are a perfect fit for a twelve ounce beer can. Additionally, there is a remote control aluminum can crusher. The crushed cans drop discretely into a concealed space where a scale quietly sets off a small alarm when the crushed cans have reached an economically significant weight.
When you invite a few friends over to watch the big game, the looks of envy on their faces will be priceless. With this furniture, everyone can pretend to live the plumber lifestyle.
Of course, there is the high fashion clothing line. The logo is a little man riding a toilet and swinging a plunger. I don’t know how they come up with these things. Some of those designers must be really bright guys. The planned tagline is, “Live large. Live like a plumber.”
The perfume is already a hot seller. Per Fumus Plumbarius. Women are going crazy over it. I heard stories about women literally removing the cap and flinging the bottle towards a plumber who was in their home. Hence, the smell good plumber. In most cases, these incidents occurred after the plumber had been in the home working for awhile. I guess the excitement just builds up when you are that close to a plumber for so long.